Beauty is youth, youth beauty...

One of my marvelous nieces (I am fortunate to report I have no non-marvelous nieces) gave me a bottle of Clarins UV Plus Protective Day Screen SPF 40. This delightful, and I'm sure very expensive, concoction applies like the whisper of a fine silk shawl against my cheeks, and I sally out into the watery sunshine of a Portland winter day confident that I am anointed against the full evils of UVA/UVB rays.

A number of little freebies accompanied the bottle: a lipstick (too brown), a lip pencil (not too brown, strangely), mascara (like the touch of a small god, it gives me eyes), bronzing lotion (ha ha), and a tiny glass spray bottle of something called Expertise 3P Screen Mist, Anti-Electromagnetic Waves & Urban Pollution. This is not, as I first assumed, a special cleanser for my computer monitor. Instead, it is a mist,which screens your skin against the electromagnetic waves and urban pollution in your environment. That is, a product which will take over the job previously handled by the barrier that nature provided, i.e., your skin. Applied over your make-up (which is itself to be applied after you have exfoliated, cleansed, emolliated -- i.e., moisturized -- and then smeared on the UV Plus Protective Day Screen SPF 40), it provides that final coat of insulation between you and all the ills of a modern lifestyle.

I'll let you read the accompanying literature yourself. Note the use of science and technology words, to reinforce that Clarins Research is scientifically based; note the references to holistic herbal remedies, to support the paranoia against technology. Somehow they manage to be back-to-nature and scientific-sounding, a clever knife's edge balance to achieve. Note also the conflation of "youth" and "beauty" -- you can't have one without the other.

Look beautiful and feel good in today's world (tm).

The skin's youthful qualities are now threatened by a new type of pollution...
Your skin is in contact with an ever-increasingly polluted environment that is constantly changing. In addition to the types of known pollution (car emissions, cigarettes, etc.) now there is a new type of pollution: electromagnetic waves generated by diverse domestic communications equipment. More insidious because invisible, the way they affect the skin has now been revealed by Clarins Research.

An unprecedented scientific discovery
Clarins Research found a direct correlation between an accelerated skin aging process and being exposed to artificial electromagnetic waves [footnote: In-vitro test.]. A few hours of daily exposure is enough to provoke a fragility of the skin's barrier, its indispensable "shield" of protection. today, the effects that electromagnetic waves can have on the skin are noticeable (irritated, uncomfortable skin) and visible (dull complexion).


Clarins now offers a new Youth and Beauty routine to help preserve your skin's youthful beauty.
Clarins created Expertise 3P; a refreshing, protective mist that leaves behind a non-0cclusive, invisible shield of reinforced protection against all types of pollution we encounter today. And, for the very first time in cosmetology, it also protects against the effects of artificial electromagnetic waves.

Expertise 3P technology: Poly Pollution Protection

Magnetic Defense Complex --> Biological protection against artificial electromagnetic waves

• reinforces the skin's natural berrier
• protects against biological stress

White Tea plus Succory Dock-Cress --> Biological protection against all urban atmospheric pollution

• anti-free radical (the tea)
• anti-intolerance (the tea)
• increases cellular energy (the succory)
• reinforces natural defenses (the succory)

Glycofilm --> Physical Protection

• forms an invisible screen, is very adherent and softens skin
• slows down the penetration of pollution particles into the skin

Method of use

Give your skin the most advanced protection available today to help preserve its youthful beauty and radiance: spray onto face, neck and décolleté daily morning and/or evening over make-up and/or regular skin care.

Clarins extra advice

Share this simple and effective Youth and Beauty routine with the entire family!


Some notes:
If the Magnetic Defense Complex protects us against artificial electromagnetic waves, what will protect us from the natural electromagnetic waves? Are they somehow less dangerous? Do they not cause the skin to *gasp* age?

I am glad to see that White Tea is anti-intolerance. Does this mean it is simply tolerant, or that it disapproves of intolerance? Is Black Tea as judgmental? Can a political joke be made about a Green Tea Party?

Succory Dock-Cress is another term for chicory. Chicory has been used as a treatment for gallstones, gastro-enteritis, sinus problems and bruises. Read about it at wikipedia.

I'm not sure what simple and effective...routine we are supposed to share with the entire family -- applying the screen mist, perhaps? That seems less like a routine and more like an application.

If this is true, and electromagnetic waves are destroying my skin, how do we explain the lovely pink complexions of the true computer nerds, those who live by the light of their CRTs (and now their LCD monitors)?

The Clarins webpage if you would like to investigate for yourself.